Apart from the fact that an eight-hour drive now allows me to watch Best Year Ever at noon, this is not the best week ever. For starters, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant and Britney didn’t even know! Oh, the humanity…Really though, we have a rundown on why this isn’t the best week ever:
Roger Clemens continues to deny his syringe-in-bottom ways. That’s okay, Roger, we’ll all just assume anyway, because we don’t give you the “benefit of the doubt.” I guess I’ll also take back all that stuff I said about Barry Bonds, because you two are starting to resemble each other now. And not just because of your receding hairline.
20 FSU players suspended for the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. So, this might not be quite bad news for me, but at the same time, 20 players! I mean, literally thousands of college athletes have cheated their way through pre-pro careers, and 20 of you guys can’t fake your way through an online course and not get caught?! Not that I condone this cheating sort of thing but really, at least pretend, people.
Jessica Simpson jinxed Tony Romo. I give Jessiromo, or Romessica or whatever about two more weeks. How can someone go through life knowing that his girlfriend can’t watch him play, even if she is hot? He can find someone better…
Pitino gets 500. I mean, I guess I can’t begrudge a man for achieving something great, especially since most of that was on the backs of University of Kentucky players. But come on, we all know Wildcats stopped being able to cheer for the slippery Italian/New Yorker. Also, it just happened to coincide with Derek Character coming back from an “indefinite” suspension. Oh well. Speaking of the Wildcats…
UK drops to 4-5. I hate to harp on this because I know no one else cares outside of Kentucky, and certain sects of the USA and Canada. But no one is this bad!
And this has been your installation of Not the Best Week Ever.
Quote of the day: “Maybe my New Year’s resolution should be to stop watching college basketball. Or just painful UK games. It’s an addiction.”