Let me get this straight…you spent a lot of time and money to find out if people, adults, playing in Major League Baseball, which is not a branch of the federal government, are using steroids? Really? Only for us to find out that a bunch of randoms + Andy Pettite+Gary Sheffield+Barry Bonds+a lot of other people we already knew were using steroids have…in fact…used steroids. Let me tell you how long it took me to figure out that Barry Bonds was using steroids, George Mitchell: about two blinks at a television during a Giants game in the mid-90s. And that sh*t was free, because my parents were paying for the cable.
I get it. It’s kind of a big deal to find out that people are trying to get ahead and whatnot, but if baseball had been on its game, then it would’ve been able to find out more from grown men peeing into a cup and thus avoid all this mockery of government. But the money was rolling in and people were happy and joyous that Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were “rivals” in their quest to break the single season home run record. I also get it; it’s about money. But now look where you are MLB. All that money is probably going to go away in the form of major embarrassment. I won’t go out on the limb to predict revenue declines because apparently people like controversy. Who knew? In any case, I could think of about two million places all the money (and time) spent on the Mitchell investigation could be better spent.
One of these places is buying back the books I spent at the beginning of the semester and got $11 dollars. ELEVEN DOLLARS. Screw those books next semester….and I guess you could also donate the money to Brad Pitt’s little pink houses or toward education or cracking down on senators who deny their homosexual and/or heterosexual affairs. Whatever floats your boat…
Quote of the day: “So, does this mean that there will be an investigation of steroids in the NFL? Because if there is, I think I want to sign up and help out…I mean if they’re just handing out the money…”